discombobulation

Its so weird when one day ur like two peas in a pod with someone and you're walking different ways the next. Its pretty tragic actually especially if you are close to that particular person. Its almost as if a part of you has been cut. But thanks to God you tend to grow that part back. However no two are identical and so u can't help but miss what you've lost. Maybe I am behaving over the top coz it isn't always that bad. At times you just get a little distant. Things come b/w you due to which the bond suffers a little. Its ol very confusing. Dunno how to see it , have no clue what really is happening and so can't have a conspicuous opinion either. Perhaps one reason is that I suck at drawing the line when it comes to relationships of any kinds. I don't know the limits to being a friend and its always challenging for me to figure out if I am entering a different territory. As a result I never get when I end up being so attached to the person that differences in their operating behaviour affect me so profoundly. It is love alright but not of the form they are expecting or wanting. And this drifts us apart. They look for what they want in somebody else and I am left with a loss of a loved one. I still don't know where it all begins and ends but for sure it never does i a way I want it to.

.....

An old Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A battle is raging inside me ... it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The old man fixed the children with a firm stare. "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replied: "The one you feed."

O.V.E.R.L.O.A.D!!

Its seriously weird that when u have a million things going thru ur mind is exactly when u don't find a single thing to say....
Take me for example. I have so many thots runnin thru my mind but i don't have a clue what i shd talk abt. In my case however this is a day to day phenomenon. I am still on a break with my life on a sort of standby however by this point (and thank god 4 dt!!) it has started to feel more like a hiatus than an abyss. am trying my best to get back on track , to make all the pain from my pat help me towards a better future but I can't omit the fact that i sure as hell am anxious. I don't really know whats gonna happen , sometimes I feel like maybe if I could know the future , it wld b awesome but on a further thot mayb that wldnt be so gr88. mayb its nicer to live life like a surprise , to get to unwrap a new present everyday and although it maynot always be what you want or expect it all happens 4 d best and tht is one thing i knw 4 sure...
wld like to end this post with my newest mantra (thanks to tiffany frm www.hugelove.blogspot.com)
I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE DEPRESSED.
and as long as i blve dt m sure it'll stay dt way........

but what will they think bout it???????

Aah!!
people thinking abt other people...... God I just don't get it. If it is my life and I'm the one who has to live it why should I have to think abt the world?
I mean when I am in the deepest of shits, nobody wants to help me , noone even cares so why in the name of lord should I think bout all these people i've no connection to?
I shouldn't right but its really frustrating when someone close to you , someone you would want for to understand you , respect your wishes and support your decisions comes up to you with a ," maybe you shouldn't do it coz what will the world say!!"
Boy oh boy its my life , not theirs'. Why should I care what they think bout my decisions and my choices when they can't be bothered enough to know me.
this post isn't abt me however but nevertheless I just wanna pray to god to help that person and give them all the strength in the world to be able to go ahead and do whatever they want coz they deserve it...... n yeah don't make em give a second thot to what people say............

wait n' hope........

I talked to my bff today n it was pretty awesome. It has been sometime since we've had a good chat coz hes been very busy with his work lately. And the entire communication gap sowed some doubtful seeds in my mind. But it is my utmost pleasure to say that they were unfounded. As long as you believe in urself and the ppl u love nothing can come in ur way. Sometimes you need to wait when u might not like it and it is exactly at these times that ur truly tested. It is absolutely essential that u donot lose hope and have faith in all that is close to ur heart. Let time test you coz if ur confident enuf ull pass with flying colors.
Am so thankful that i decided to stick and not give up. That i opted to wait and work on it instead of bailing out. And indeed it is paying off. What the entire experience has taught me is that if you are really keen on somethin , if u believe it is worth it and tht u can do it , it can never ever go wrong.
The worst thing to do would be to give up when the entire time ur getting the feeling tht it can be worked on. I've learnt tht the hard way. There are things i now wished i'ld have pursued and not let go but if it wldnt be for them i wldnt have accepted this all important fact.
I wanna promise myself tht m not gonna leave things and walk off coz they get a little uncomfortable. I shall see them to the end so tht if noin else i atleast have the satsfaction of not giving up!!!

p.s. sorry for the long absence......

spring.............

I've been watchin a few movies for the past few days. Just finished watching 500 days of summer. Net was really slow and it was taking like ages to buffer so I was almost about to give up on it but then I decided against it. And man am I glad!!!!!!!!!
It definitely isn't just another love story. Its AMAZING and the end actually made me catch my breath for a sec. Its assuring but not in that romantic dreamy way which most rom coms tend to do. It is so close to reality. Its like it makes to believe that there is a higher power and that everything happens for a reason. Suffering is all but means to a joyful end. OFcourse the journey takes longer than you might want it to or expect it to but in the end its like everything is paid up. You get so much more than what you initially thot of. I don't have any personal experience of being in this happy town as yet but judging by the journey I am going thru , the pain there is I sure hope that I reach there soon and what I hope more is that some day soon I'll write about my very own gladtown and how it is indeed worth all the suffering....

P.S. Do watch 500 days of summer!!

Leave me alone!!!!

No I ain;t askin anyone to go away but rather the thots which have invaded my mind and now seem to refuse to leave me alone. I've lost all calm , especially when everyone goes off to bed i get attacked by an army of questions which i've no clue how to answer and so I can't sleep...
The worst part hoever is that i don't know a way outta this. Alright so lemme elaborate a bit. There is something I want really bad , somethin which belongs to me but which i've left behind. Now its entirely upto someone else to return it or vanish away. I'm trying to get that person to understand my situation , how much the stuff means to me but m not sure if tht's any good. At times I feel a slight ray of hope , like maybe there is a chance i'll be able to lay my hands on it again but then I don't get any response from the other side n all my hopes n crushed to ashes. M walking on a thin rope here. When my optimism is on my side i feel like i'll be able to get to the other end but then i feel the rope tearing and my heart skips a beat. I try not to look down and get nervous but in vain. Can't help it. I've lost my peace. Dunno what will happen. If i'll be able to pull thru or if i'll fall off. Either way m at the worst stage right now where i've nothing but oblivion. M praying to god to help me coz i really need it and m hopin against hope tht a lil magic will happen and everythin will fall into its place. Till then I shall sit( n not sleep!) and wait for sm good news........

a treat 4 d valentine's...

alexander mcqueen heart peep toe pumps

pom poms....

lanvin aumoniere evening bag



M luvin ds drawstring bag from lanvin...... i luv d color combo n d pom poms r just too cute............

nouveau projet!!!

One of my friends is starting his own website and it is pretty exciting!
He has offered me to work on it as well. If it goes fine i'll have a regular feature on the site and man will that be awesome....
I just hope that it succeeds , i'm really hoping so!
Neway for now I'm just concentrating on today and wishing for a better tomorrow. It is never any use to sit and crib about what's happening and what not. It's always a better option to make the best of what you have in the present and pray for a great future. So love your lives and make the most of it............

where is my carrot?

I was grating some carrots for my mum today n to tell u the truth quite a bit of it was going to my tummy as well ;-)
I just love the smell of fresh carrots especially when the season is in full bloom. If they made a carrot perfume I swear i'ld be the first person to buy it. I just find it so inviting. And the pleasure of biting into a sweet juicy carrot is almost orgasmic. I might as well get lost in b'ful carrot dreams when i do so!!
uhm-uhm...a lil too mch? maybe but evrytime those delicious red/orange sticks come to my sight I can't help but thank god for all the miraculous things he's made n i can bet my arse no man-made thing can ever comptete with those.....

color me purple............

Ralph Lauren crocodile ricky bag
I'm having this thing for all shades pf purple these days. M loving lavender n lilac and amethyst and wat not!!
n tht is one of d mny reasons why m droolin over ds ralph lauren croc bag. Its so chic but still so fun. Only if I could lay my hands on one of dse..............sigh!!

HARDbeat...........

I don't even know what to say or how to xplain the feeling i'm having for the past 2 days. Sometimes you lose all hope of something happening except for that little dot of light. And it makes you do things without any expectations like betting ur last penny coz in any case ur pretty much neutral at that moment. It can't get any worse so ur gud with it and there is 'almost' no hope of any good comin outta it. and so u play the toss. and u win. But ur in such a dilemma coz now u don't know what will follow. will it get any better or will it go back to being the same dark room. And u r trying to hold on to that little spark as tightly as possible for if you could do anything to not let it go , u wld do that. Waiting to see where it'll end is like walking on hot coal; every moment so painful and intense but u keep treading on coz u want to reach the other side and realise that there was infact a well lit room there. that ur tiny bit of hope has sailed u thru. that what u considered done was infact still in the process , that it ws all going to b happy in the end.........

However i'm just being optimistic here. Idon't know if this is what will happen! It might not be so. And therefore I stand in this excruciating position where i know of nothing and this hope is so precious to me that i'm trying with ol my life to hold on to it , praying that it is legitimate. Relying on god to give me this one coz for now its all i'm hanging by........

Oh dear lord , please heed my prayers!!!!!

Have a little faith.......

I have always thought that if you really really want something you can get it. But then there have been times when my faith has dwindled.
However my heart still believes that if I have my mind set on something on anyone as for that matter they can absolutely get that thing. Ofcourse it has to be realistic and sometimes in the course of wanting that something you realise that it isn't exactly that particular thing you crave but something else associated with it. Maybe I am making no sense at all but if you have ever felt that way then you know what I am talking about. Anyway really praying for the lord to grant me this something and perhaps that added extra won't be so bad either ;-)

sartorialist

OMG!!
I am surprised that the sartorialist has the maximum no. of followers while i sit here with none whatsoever....sob , sob!!
Well not to worry , i shall keep on walking and surely i'll find sm1 to share the journey with soon :-)
well I found this pic on the sartorialist and i cldnt help but wonder how dashing this gentleman looks. my god! its like he instantly attracted me. he has such a charming personality , exudes particles of handsomeness..........

straps

m droolin big time over strappy heels at the moment.......
one of my fav( vch i cld kill 4..) r dse chloe wedges..........

balenciaga........

was havin a look at instyle a day or so ago n i fell in luv with jen's skirt......i luv how shes dressed it down.............

shoe mind........

What's really really weird is that after having moved I've started to forget about horrible things , amazing stuff , awesome n aweful people. Things I thot I were addicted to , places I liked to visit n so on n so forth. But one thing I just can't seem to bring myself to forget are my SHOES!!!
Yes my shoes , even the rest of my junk but especially my shoes. Maybe becoz I won't b able to find the same sort of collection here in a million billion years but more so coz of my shoe addiction. I've tried convincing myself with everything and anything. However nothing seems to work!!!!
Its so tough its like they have a life of their own n am so attached to them feel like huggin 'em , even the ones I regretted buying n never thot cld wear 'em.
God I guess i've gone crazy. I need serious help getting over them. However if god cld just manage to get them to me I'ld be very very grateful....
Please god , my sweet sweet lord do this for me......;-)

lustin for........

Marc Jacobs fluorescent tweed purse.......

coz anythin tht can add a lil color to dull winters is a boon. n m luvin how ds bag can b used as a clutch as well....

christian louboutin multicolour patent leather platform lace up popi plato oxford

christian louboutin multicolor striped canvas jessica knee high boot with rope wedge

........color??????? yes please!!!!!

love , blood......red

When it come to make-up I like to stay risk-free. As i result i usually end up with pastel colors on my canvas(face) and dark , sultry ones in my vanity. But sometimes i just can't resist the temptation to wear a sexy red and hence end up overcoming my fear( thank god!!!)
I find tht a gud toned red cannot be replaced by anything else. What it does to your face/nails/persona is nothing short of magical. It has tht queer power of adding seduction to ur being........

- by narciso rodriguez
one of the best white dresses ive seen lately.......

2010!!

There are times when I feel good about something but try not to concentrate on that feeling too much because I have this strange superstition that whenever I get excited about something , it gets spoiled and then the disappointment is so great that you wish you hadn't been so thrilled about it in the first place. And then they ask me to be positive , go figure!!
But somehow I can't shake this feeling that 2010 is going to be a good one. After all the flops n misses i've had in the past couple of yrs I seriously do hope that this is an intuition which is proved right and not killed by my 'optimism'.
Or maybe I am just being overtly hopeful that this year will help me work on all of my past mistakes(blunders rather) and give me a chance to expiate all my wrongdoings. All in all just hoping for a truly rocking year(in all senses of the word)...
Wish u guys an awesome 2010!!!

P.S. lets hope my optimism pays off this time... ;-)

scuba python de-manta clutch by alexander mcqueen.......

ballin for anna sui butterfly short mesh open toe boots....
If i cld jst lay my hands on these I swear i'ld wear them with everything. They r just so frsh n chic........ m also loving her butterfly flats...

Accessorize me............

I was going to rant out some annoying stuff but then I visited style.com n saw all these bags and shoes which make you wanna go and rob a bank. So I thot enuf with the glum for now , lets have some eye candy. So here it is....

jason wu georgette petal coat.....( I hope my slobber s not visible!!)

christian louboutin talita clutch......

crushes of d day.....

casadei triple platform pumps..........

re solution

No this is not a typing mistake. Its just another definition for resolutions.
Not all of them will fit to this definition but some of them , definitely!!
So if you have figured a way out of your troubles or something that will help you achieve a particular goal you can think of it as a new year's re solution to slip out of that tension......

The 'USUAL ' club...

Ever asked a friend wat they r upto and received the reply, "the usual"?
The other day while chatting to a friend this is exactly what happened. I asked him what had he been upto n he said ,"nothin much , just the usual."
N I was like welcum to the usual club. N it was then that I thought about it. Most of the time we are asked that question or inversely if we put it forth that is the reply uttered. As far as i am concerned it feels really sad to be saying that when there are so many amazing things I could be doing every day. Its almost depressing. But then I have to console myself by hoping that that is soon gonna change. Unusual is so important. Even if our life were perfect , we would still crave those lil bumps which add colour to our otherwise boring lives.......

found this in my lappy today.....its cute...

When a GIRL is quiet,
Millions of things are running in her mind
When a GIRL is not arguing,
She is thinking deeply
When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of
questions,
She is wondering how long you will be
around
When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a
few seconds,
She is not at all fine
When a GIRL stares at you,
She is wondering why you are lying
When a GIRL lays on your chest,
She is wishing for you to be hers forever
When a GIRL calls you everyday,
She is seeking for your attention
When a GIRL sms's u everyday,
She wants you to reply at least once
When a GIRL says I love you,
She means it
When a GIRL says that she can't live
without you,
She has made up her mind that you are
her future
When a GIRL says "i miss you",
No one in this world can miss you more
than that.....