HARDbeat...........

I don't even know what to say or how to xplain the feeling i'm having for the past 2 days. Sometimes you lose all hope of something happening except for that little dot of light. And it makes you do things without any expectations like betting ur last penny coz in any case ur pretty much neutral at that moment. It can't get any worse so ur gud with it and there is 'almost' no hope of any good comin outta it. and so u play the toss. and u win. But ur in such a dilemma coz now u don't know what will follow. will it get any better or will it go back to being the same dark room. And u r trying to hold on to that little spark as tightly as possible for if you could do anything to not let it go , u wld do that. Waiting to see where it'll end is like walking on hot coal; every moment so painful and intense but u keep treading on coz u want to reach the other side and realise that there was infact a well lit room there. that ur tiny bit of hope has sailed u thru. that what u considered done was infact still in the process , that it ws all going to b happy in the end.........

However i'm just being optimistic here. Idon't know if this is what will happen! It might not be so. And therefore I stand in this excruciating position where i know of nothing and this hope is so precious to me that i'm trying with ol my life to hold on to it , praying that it is legitimate. Relying on god to give me this one coz for now its all i'm hanging by........

Oh dear lord , please heed my prayers!!!!!