HOME

This post came into existence because of the simple fact that I'm visiting home. While I was packing for this trip I got to thinking partly because I had a little while to kill and partly because well I am a serial thinker...
Anyway so as I got to pondering over this trip a very simple fact dawned on me. That home is actually an escape. Its a haven, a cocoon for when you get too exhausted with your day to day life and its happenings. And all true. Because the reason I planned this trip was because I wanted to run away only if for a little while and give my mind the peace which only comes from not having to worry about the intricacies of daily life....
And so I felt amazingly blessed to have a place I can call home. The bonus is that I've people there who make it even more worthwhile. A heartfelt thank you to god for this blessing....

shopping!!

So today was one of those days when I went a lil overboard with shopping. Of course it is difficult to stop yourself in the spur of the moment especially when you know that none of the things you are splurging on can be termed (ummm in a way) as futile.
Well alright maybe I could have survived without a few of them but then again it does not mean that their is no use for them. Hufffff, maybe I am just explaining myself so much because I feel guilty for having spend quite some funds today. But I feel glad about what I bought. Nothing I regret really. I just hope I'll be able to manage my budget after today....particularly because I've a few other things on my mind ;-)

long long tym..........................

Wow its been so long since I last posted something.... Guess I've been busy getting my life back on track....So much has happened during this time lapse.
I've moved back to chd , have started school again , made new friends , come in touch with so many new people and have beginning to write another chapter of my life.
There are so many things to share , so many stories to tell , so many thoughts to process but if I start with it all today it will get a bit too cluttered. So here is what I will do. I'll get regular and start enumerating everything that is going on. And for starters I'll post a small briefing of the major occurrences till date.
So cya soon. GBU......

discombobulation

Its so weird when one day ur like two peas in a pod with someone and you're walking different ways the next. Its pretty tragic actually especially if you are close to that particular person. Its almost as if a part of you has been cut. But thanks to God you tend to grow that part back. However no two are identical and so u can't help but miss what you've lost. Maybe I am behaving over the top coz it isn't always that bad. At times you just get a little distant. Things come b/w you due to which the bond suffers a little. Its ol very confusing. Dunno how to see it , have no clue what really is happening and so can't have a conspicuous opinion either. Perhaps one reason is that I suck at drawing the line when it comes to relationships of any kinds. I don't know the limits to being a friend and its always challenging for me to figure out if I am entering a different territory. As a result I never get when I end up being so attached to the person that differences in their operating behaviour affect me so profoundly. It is love alright but not of the form they are expecting or wanting. And this drifts us apart. They look for what they want in somebody else and I am left with a loss of a loved one. I still don't know where it all begins and ends but for sure it never does i a way I want it to.

.....

An old Cherokee was teaching his grandchildren about life. He said to them, "A battle is raging inside me ... it is a terrible fight between two wolves. One wolf represents fear, anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other stands for joy, peace, love, hope, sharing, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, friendship, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The old man fixed the children with a firm stare. "This same fight is going on inside you, and inside every other person, too."

They thought about it for a minute and then one child asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"

The old Cherokee replied: "The one you feed."

O.V.E.R.L.O.A.D!!

Its seriously weird that when u have a million things going thru ur mind is exactly when u don't find a single thing to say....
Take me for example. I have so many thots runnin thru my mind but i don't have a clue what i shd talk abt. In my case however this is a day to day phenomenon. I am still on a break with my life on a sort of standby however by this point (and thank god 4 dt!!) it has started to feel more like a hiatus than an abyss. am trying my best to get back on track , to make all the pain from my pat help me towards a better future but I can't omit the fact that i sure as hell am anxious. I don't really know whats gonna happen , sometimes I feel like maybe if I could know the future , it wld b awesome but on a further thot mayb that wldnt be so gr88. mayb its nicer to live life like a surprise , to get to unwrap a new present everyday and although it maynot always be what you want or expect it all happens 4 d best and tht is one thing i knw 4 sure...
wld like to end this post with my newest mantra (thanks to tiffany frm www.hugelove.blogspot.com)
I AM TOO BLESSED TO BE DEPRESSED.
and as long as i blve dt m sure it'll stay dt way........

but what will they think bout it???????

Aah!!
people thinking abt other people...... God I just don't get it. If it is my life and I'm the one who has to live it why should I have to think abt the world?
I mean when I am in the deepest of shits, nobody wants to help me , noone even cares so why in the name of lord should I think bout all these people i've no connection to?
I shouldn't right but its really frustrating when someone close to you , someone you would want for to understand you , respect your wishes and support your decisions comes up to you with a ," maybe you shouldn't do it coz what will the world say!!"
Boy oh boy its my life , not theirs'. Why should I care what they think bout my decisions and my choices when they can't be bothered enough to know me.
this post isn't abt me however but nevertheless I just wanna pray to god to help that person and give them all the strength in the world to be able to go ahead and do whatever they want coz they deserve it...... n yeah don't make em give a second thot to what people say............